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Friday, June 30, 2006

Do Not Eat MEE

Yeah, do not eat mee, preferably for few days. Heard over the radio this morning, some factory making noodles has been closed down due to too much acid content found in noodles.

InfraRED? Functioning or not ?

Having problem with your notebook InfraRed (IrDA) even after it is enabled? OK, this is a way to check whether it is functioning. Tested this on IBM notebook and it works.

Point a digital camera (or handphone camera will do) direct to the InfraRed port.

If you see blinking lights in few seconds interval, that confirms it, IrfraRED is functioning. Otherwise, you can flush your notebook into the toilet.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Idea For GrandPa

Little Johnny was playing outside in the garden one day when he pulled a worm from it's wormhole. Johnny's grandfather, who had seen the whole incident, placed a $10 bet with Johnny that Johnny wouldn't be able to put the wriggly worm back into it's hole.

Johnny gleefuly accepted and proceeded to the house with the worm in his hand. It wasn't long until Johnny came back from inside the house and carefully threaded the worm back into it's hole.

His grandfather gazed in awe at it and told Johnny that he would give him the $10 if Johnny explained to him exactly how he managed to thread the worm back into it's hole.

Johnny proceeded to tell his grandfather about how he sneaked into his sister's room and covered the worm with his sisters hair spray until the worm was rock hard so that he could simply thread the worm back into it's hole.

The next morning Johnny was out playing in the garden again when his grandfather gleefully approached him and handed him a crisp ten dollar bill, but Johnny being the honest young lad that he was, handed the money back to his grandfather and told his grandfather that he had already paid him yesterday.

His grandfather replied; "Yes but this is from your grandmother"

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Simple Operation

Keith was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

Keith said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"

"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Karen & Mirror

Karen and her husband are getting ready for bed. She is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

"You know, dear,"she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." Karen turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Monday, June 26, 2006

Wink *wink*

Heard of Wink? Of course you have! But this is different kind of wink.

Wink is a Tutorial and Presentation creation software, primarily aimed at creating tutorials on how to use software. Wink is free. Get yours today!

Saturday, June 24, 2006


A police officer, Karen, pulls Tina over for speeding...

Karen : Driver's license please ?
Tina : I don't have one.
Karen : Vehicle Registration card then?
Tina : It's not my car. I stole it.
Karen : The car is stolen?
Tina : That's right. May be it's in the glove box where my gun is.
Karen : You have a gun there?
Tina : Yes ma'am. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called her captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached Tina to handle the tense situation:

Captain : Ma'am, may I see your license?
Tina : Sure. Here it is.
Captain : Is this your car?
Tina : It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's Registration card.
Captain : Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Tina : Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Captain : Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Tina : No problem. Trunk is opened.
Captain : I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told her you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Tina : Really? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too?
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