Life's Like That : It's All About Marketing

The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING. However, most people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing."

Here it is:

You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of our friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.

Joke Of The Day : Feel Like A Woman

A Boeing jet, flying at 35000 feet over the Atlantic runs into a terrible storm. Thunder, lightening and high winds toss the big plane around the sky. The passengers are scared!! One woman in particular is about the lose it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane shouting "I'm too young to die!" Then she yells, "well if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable. In my entire life, no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it!! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril and they all stare, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he said. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, black hair and blue eyes, he slowly starts to walk up the isle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt, muscle ripple across his chest and extends the shirt to the trembling woman and whispers...

"Iron this"

Life's Like That : Lick Suck Fuck

I've received many sms, these are my favourites :-

Name the 3 GREAT KINGS that have brought happiness in people's live?

Answers :-

(1) Licking

(2) Sucking

(3) Fucking

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Last night I wanted you. Needed you so badly that it hurt. I wanted to taste you, I wanted you
in me so you could work your power on me. But I couldn't find you. STUPID Panadol...

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Joke Of The Day : Golf course or Intercourse?

Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation began:

First Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. My wife made me promise that'll paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second Guy: "That's nothing. My wife made me promise that I'd build her a new deck for the pool."

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! My wife made me promise that I'd rebuilt the entire kitchen for her next weekend."

After the three men have taken their goes, they realise that the fourth guy has not said a word. "So what's the deal? What did you have to promise to do to be able to come golfing this weekend?

Fourth Guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30am. After the alarm wakes me up, I shut it off, give the wife a nudge and ask: "Golf Course or Intercourse?" And she says, "Don't forget to wear your sweater."

Life's Like That : Work Till Wee Hours

Being single, I don't mind putting up extra hours or sometimes, working till wee hours just to get things done, rushing for deadlines. In the course of doing so, I've often skipped my lunch and having dinner late at night, morning, 12+, bath and head straight to bed ... Zzzzz. This repeats the next day.

At times, it makes me wonder. Is it worth forcing myself this way?? Working like a cow for the company with dirt low pay. If I got sick, in return, will my boss do the same, taking good care of me? What if I'm really sick for a few months. Will they sack me and hire a new person instead? Most important of all, will other things in life matter, if I don't have health? If I have a married life, that will be even worse. Not being able to reach home on time, having dinner with loved ones. No time to spare for the kid/s. That's where priority kicks in.

Joke Of The Day : Hunter & In Law

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Joke Of The Day : Period

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Jony, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Jony walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Jony had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period," reported Jony.
"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know," said Jony, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

Life's Like That : How To Protect Kids From Internet Threats

Worried of what the dark side of Internet will do to your kid/s?

If you want to learn how to protect kids from cyber threats, here's a recommended site parent/s can take a good look.

http://www.protectkids.com


Many depends on the Internet to get the huge free flow of informations to accomplish their tasks, such as :

• Email.
  Email is now an essential communication tools in business. It is also excellent for keeping in touch with family and friends. The advantages to email is that it is free when compared to telephone, fax and postal services.
  
  
• Information.
  There is a huge amount of information available on the internet for just about every subject known to man, ranging from government law and services, trade fairs and conferences, market information, new ideas and technical support.
  

• Services.
  Many services are now provided on the internet such as online banking, job seeking and applications, and hotel reservations. Often these services are not available off-line or cost more.
  
  

• Buy or sell products.
  The internet is a very effective way to buy and sell products all over the world.
  
  

• Communities.
  Communities of all types have sprung up on the internet. Its a great way to meet up with people of similar interest and discuss common issues.